The Bull and Bear Tue, May 07 2019 19:30

Rock, Paper, Scissors, ZEUS!

Will F

A hush descended over the crowd. Round 1 of the quiz had ended and the two champions of the ensuing Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournament were about to face off in a Best-of-Three. For glory; for honor; for a free alcoholic beverage. Sweating profusely, in awe of their superior intellect and their perfect prediction of my moves, I asked for their names.

"Yo Daddy" the first replied. I turned towards the second player. "Brian" he said with quiet intensity as yet unseen in a tournament of this nature. And they were off!

"Rock! Paper! Scissors! SHOOT!"

I opened my eyes after shouting the last word and saw them, their eyes locked on one another and shining with ferocity, manliness, and mutual respect. Yo Daddy and Brian, each of their fists clenched in the ancient symbol for ROCK. The score remained 0-0.

"Rock! Paper! Scissors! SHOOT!"

This was no ordinary duel. The gods of thunder and lightning themselves had come out to play this evening. Outside, bright flashes and low rumbles carried on. The stormy backdrop of Flash Flood Warning weather only served to further highlight the epic duel taking place inside the Bull and Bear Tavern and Eatery. Yo Daddy raised a single hair of his left eyebrow in surprise and considered his throw of Paper. Brian had read him perfectly and then cut Yo Daddy's Paper with the only thing that could possibly beat it: SCISSORS. The score read 0-1.

"Rock! Paper! Scissors! SHOOT!"

Zen-like, with perfect certainty, Brian stretched out his hand. Across from him, Yo Daddy stood in stunned disbelief with a fist full of air. He had been beaten. Yo Daddy's Rock had failed him at the worst possible moment: the arrival of Brian's PAPER.

Score: 0-2.

"This man just won himself a free drink!" I yelled, and everyone went absolutely bananas. Cheers and applause to rival the roar of the storm outside erupted throughout the bar. I shook his hand firmly, and Brian went back to his table to bask in the glory of victory and maybe some pizza to go with his free beer.

Everyone settled in for Round 2 of their favorite quiz. Their thirst for battle quenched, their smiling faces turned slowly to a more contemplative visage as I read out the clue for Question 21. Yet all the while they wondered, as did I...who will be the victor next week?

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